Jude Law and a Semester Abroad
by highhorses
Summary: "So tell all the English girls you meet, about the American girl back in the states; the American girl you used to date, who would do anything you say."
1. Chapter 1

_Regina's way of holding a cigarette makes Emma nervous; her dainty little fingers are too close to the butt, and she's dropping ashes everywhere. It's cold and Emma just wants to head inside, her thin charcoal hoodie doing absolutely nothing for warmth._

_"You don't have to do this"  
__**"Yes,**__ I do." Her tone is absolute, and Emma knows that there is no turning back.  
"Shit Regina it's cold, get on with it already."  
The remark earns Emma a glare, affectively shutting her up, though it doesn't stop her from standing behind Regina and wrapping her arms around her on the curb, resting her head on a wool covered shoulder as a silent apology._

"_You're gonna be my blanket."  
"Emma"  
"Regina," she drawls. "You're bluffing."  
"Am not."  
"Point proven."_

_Emma wishes that she hadn't entertained Regina's silly idea. She's not interested in letting Regina ruin her health just because she's too stubborn to quit smoking. But that's the deal. Regina knows that Emma won't quit on her own, so presenting her with incentive was the only option.  
She brings the cigarette to her lips, breaths coming out in short puffs, her trembling fingers betraying outward confidence.  
Emma lasts all of 5 seconds before she's slapping the stick out of Regina's hand, while the latter sighs in relief._

_"Idiot."  
"It worked."  
"Whatever."  
"So are you going to quit?"  
"Whatever."  
"I'm __**serious **__Emma. I won't be here to gripe at you. Promise me." She's basically pleading, and it is on rare occasion that Emma gets to hear Regina Mills beg. And in that moment Emma knows that she'd do anything for this woman, even the things she once believed to be impossible.  
"I promise."  
Emma pulls away and takes a seat on the curb, legs crossed at the ankles.  
"Stop pouting."  
"You've got your things packed and ready I'm assuming?"  
Regina tilts her head, confused by the sudden change of conversation.  
"Yes. It'd be ridiculous if I didn't. I leave in an hour."  
Emma doesn't respond, and the air around them is suddenly a little too thick for Regina's liking.  
"Nothing is going to change. You know that right? We'll still talk all the time, Emma. Emma look at me."  
But she just shakes her head, sending blonde curls flying. Her hands are picking at the holes in her jeans, making them wider as a result of her anxiety. Finally she speaks, her voice a bit harsher than intended.  
"Why? So that you can ground yourself while you break my heart? You are still trying to convince yourself Regina, and I won't take part in that. I won't give you the satisfaction."_

_"Fine. Point taken. But this is best. Being friends is easier. You'll see."_

_"You're shitting me." Emma sighs. _

_She'd been trying to avoid this conversation, but then again, she'd been thinking about it nonstop for months. It's getting darker outside, and Regina realizes that she should probably get going.  
She prolonged her day as long as possible to spend it with Emma but time is dwindling, and her mother will be calling for her at any minute. She sits next to Emma on the curb, poking at her arm. _

"_I just want to see you like this. In the flesh." __**Another poke**__. " And if it's selfish," __**Poke.**__ "For me to leave you here after drinking you in for the last time, then I'm sorry. It's hard for me too Em. Just promise me you'll pick up the phone." _

_Emma hates when Regina gets all adorable, because she gets away with everything then. Ruby calls her whipped, but Emma just finds it difficult to stay angry at someone so beautiful. So she kisses her, because that's the only way Emma knows how to communicate without feeling like her throat is going to collapse. _

_It's simple, sweet. There's no tongue, just lips, and Emma hopes that it would be enough. Enough to show Regina that Emma exists only to love her; that she would give up everything in this world and the next, if it meant that she could have the honor of kissing those lips for the rest of her life._

_What can Emma say? She's in love. And she's gathered that love makes you think and say the most hammy things, but she doesn't give a shit because Regina Mills is nibbling on her bottom lip, and honestly, that is top priority._

_**1st chapter complete! This is my first fic, so please don't be afraid to unleash the fury as far as reviews go. I've never done this before, so I need all the feedback that I can get! **_


	2. Chapter 2

**_4 months later. _**

"Hey Emma, you're here late." Vince says as he wipes down the counter, preparing for last call.

"Yeah I know. Don't have a ride, so I'm waiting for the rain to let up before leaving."

"Ah, well did you hear about the crowd last night? It was insane. Totally upped my rep if you know what I mean." Emma smirks into her hands, finding Vince's smug personality to be a welcomed relief after such a shitty day.

What was up with that? When I got in today, everyone was pretty much worshipping you. He flashes her a solid grin, thankful for Emma's contribution to his already swelling ego.

"Ha. It was nothing; I just worked some of my mojo. There was good music, drinks were well stocked, and I got a haircut. You should have been here Em."

"Yeah, no Vince. I couldn't work 4 nights straight. I needed a break. Even seeing you with a haircut wouldn't have given me strength."

"Wimp." he coughs into his sleeve, barely dodging Emma's flying fists.

**"HEY**," she growls.

"No worries. I'm kind of happy that you weren't here."

"Why?"

"Well, M&M told me not tell you, but you're my bro Em."

"Vince, I'm flattered. **SPILL**. "

"Well, these two girls were arguing at the bar, and I mean really going at it. Tooth and nail. Had I not shown up when I did, I'm pretty sure punches would have been thrown."

"Okay stop. Where do I come in?"

Always so forward Emma. Straight to the point. That's why I like you.

**Vince.**

"It was over you."

"Wait what?"  
"It was over y-"

"**NO**", Emma's hands fly up, silencing him, her eyebrows furrowing as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth. "The girls. What did they look like?"

"Well, one was a blonde, about as tall as Ruby. A bit snarky if you ask me. Ring any bells?"

"Yeah, that's actually Ruby's friend Ashley. She's a sweetheart though. One who won't take a hint, but sweet."

"M&M said that too. Besides it showed, because once she implied that she you know, **knew you**"

"Which she doesn't," Emma mutters.

"Right. But once she implied it, the other one damn near ripped her face off."

"And her?"

"Brunette, petite, short hair, lots of bark AND bite. Gorgeous. I remember the scar on her upper lip. She looked more familiar though, like she'd went to Storybrooke High, so I asked-"

**Oh no.**

Emma bolts from her seat, grabbing her hoodie and keys from their respective racks while shooting a hasty "I have to go" over her shoulder to Vince. Halfway out of the door she realizes that the rain has finally let up, so with a quick rummage through her pockets and a flip of a lighter, Emma makes her way to the apartments, absorbing the reality that Regina Mills was back in Storybrooke.

* * *

"**RUBES!**"

"**_JESUS _**Emma no need to yell. You'd swear you were-" she pauses when she notices Emma's flushed face and wild hair,-"dying. Are there zombies behind you? Close the door! I knew it would happen sooner or later," she says around a spoon full of peanut butter.

"She's back."  
Ruby stares at Emma for a time that would be considered uncomfortable, if it wasn't for her animated fish out of water routine. Then it dawns on her.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes."

"**Oh shit.**"

"Oh shit exactly," Emma breathes out, sinking into the soft cushions of the couch.

"What are you gonna do?"

"Avoid her like the plague."

"Now that's a little harsh don't ya think?"

"Ruby, I can't even imagine seeing her again. Seriously. When I try thinking about it, my vision gets hazy." She runs a hand over her face that ends up raking through blonde curls. "Do you know how long it took me to stop thinking about her?"

"You were in love with her Em."

"Yeah."

"And you still are. It's only been 4 months."

"Which makes my life even more of a fuckfest. And I don't mean it sexually so don't try and flip it around."

"Yes your majesty."

"Don't call me that."

"Okay Em seriously, you're not hiding in the apartment. I won't let you. I was there for you after she left, after you locked yourself in your room and turned into a hermit. There will be no reverting back to that. So promise me you'll keep doing what you've been doing? M&M still wants you to help her out at the school tomorrow."  
Emma grunts, pulling her knees to her chest as she toys with the drawstrings on her hoodie.

"Do you think that if she saw me, that she'd feel guilty? I kind of want her to, you know? To wonder how I dealt with the break-up as a person who didn't have a distraction like she did. I like to think that I've done okay. I have a job. An amazing best friend. I have my past, yeah, but she knew that part of me. She's never seen the Emma who actually tries to better herself." Ruby plops down on the couch next to Emma, intending on hugging her, when she gets a whiff of tobacco, scrunching her face in displeasure.

"You've been smoking."

"Yeah."

"You promised."

"I know. I'm sorry. I felt like every vein in my body was going to explode, and I haven't felt that way in a while, so I did what I knew would work. I won't make it a habit again. It's under control."

"Yeah, well, find another outlet. It's unhealthy." Emma repositions to lay her head in Ruby's lap, exhausted from the events of the day.

"Just take it one step at a time Em. You're strong. You deserve happiness. Don't forget your progress. And underneath all the bravado that I'm sure you'll display when you step out of this apartment in the morning, remember that you're a human being. You're not invincible. If you see her, your heart might shatter into a billion fucking pieces all over again, but know that you will always have friends here to help put it back together okay?"

"You're so cheesy. When'd you get like this?" Emma emphasizes her question with a poke to Ruby's thigh.

"Whatever Emma. Deflect all you want. It's true."

"I know Rubes. And I love you for it," she says as she unfolds from the couch, placing a quick peck on Ruby's cheek before making her way to the bathroom for a long, hot shower.

"You're the best."

* * *

**_This was more dialogue heavy, I'm sorry if that was an issue. Still trying to find my way!_**


	3. Chapter 3

By the next morning, Emma was positive that she looked like death. She'd definitely been 6 feet under. There was no amount of make-up on the planet that would hide the bags under her eyes, and her hair looked like it'd been home to a spider or 15. Maybe there really was a Zombie apocalypse and Ruby wasn't insane after all. _But that'd be too good to be true_. Her first instinct was to just throw on a faded t-shirt and a pair of ratty old jeans, but with an ex-girlfriend out there that she was secretly bent on impressing; a miracle would have to be made. After an hour of experimenting with concealers, taming her impossible curls, and narrowly avoiding wiping out a bookshelf and 2 vases while putting on her jeans, Emma Swan was ready to face the world. Well sort of. Coffee first. Glancing at the clock on her nightstand, Emma's eyes widened comically; Mary Margaret was expecting her at the school by 9, and it was already 8:45. _**Fuck**_**.** If Emma would have been thinking straight, she would have remembered that Ruby always makes coffee. She also would have remembered that the diner was not on the path to the school. But she wasn't. She was thinking inside of a labyrinth; all paths leading back to one Regina Mills.

"Hey Rubes."

"Em, what are you doing here? And for the love of God, stop bathing in my perfume collection!"

"Shut up and make yourself useful. I want coffee." She flashes Ruby a shit-eating grin, hoping that her attempts at being adorable would get her out of trouble.

"I made you coffee at home. Not good enough Princess?"

"**Actually, **smart ass, I didn't see it. I'm a little.. preoccupied."

"Yeah, well you're going to regret that slip-up," Ruby murmurs as she nods towards the booth at the far end of the diner.

"Wh- **OH SHIT**."

"Emma"

"**STOP. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!**" She's red now, and Ruby would find it funny if the girl wasn't currently hyperventilating.

"Emma." she says a bit louder, still trying to stifle a giggle.

"**THIS WAS SO STUPID**. What was I thinking?!" Her voice is shrill, pulling everyone's attention from their food and onto the two girls, one who is nearly seconds away from collapsing.

"You're getting flustered Emma. Okay. Breathe." Ruby puts down the coffee pot and makes her way around the counter, dragging Emma to the back room.

"She's seen you, I'm sure of it and she hasn't said anything. Actually when you walked in, she damn near folded herself into the menu. If anyone knows that menu, it's you and Regina. It hasn't changed in years. She's either really embarrassed, or is trying to avoid you too Em."

"You think so?" Her breaths are more regular, and she doesn't look like she's going to puke.

"Yes. That's what you wanted right? You got it!" Ruby says with a shrug, making her way to the door. "I have to get back to work, and I have a hot chocolate for M&M. It's a peace offering, because you are beyond late."

SHIT!

**"IF I HEAR THAT WORD ONE MORE TIME!"** granny shouts through the door.

"Sorry!" They shout in unison.

"Later Em."

"Wait. Let me walk with you, just in case she" - her hands are flying everywhere, forcing Ruby to snatch one in midair- you know."

"Jesus Emma."

* * *

"Emma you're late- _ooooooh _chocolate."

"Ruby is a genius" Emma mumbles under her breath, thankful to avoid M&M's self-righteous rampage on punctuality.

"I need you to put up the Christmas tree."

"The Christmas tree?"

"The Christmas tree Emma you heard me."

Mary Margaret, you and I both know that I don't know the first thing about decorating, or Christmas."

"I trust you Em, go for it. I have a class to teach; otherwise I'd do it myself. But I'll come by and check on you during my lunch break.

She's gone before Emma can even form a rebuttal, leaving her gaping at the hoarder's collection of ornaments and velvet ribbons surrounding her.

* * *

After 2 hours of practically being slapped and smothered by branches, Emma had finally created something that resembled a traditional Christmas tree. All that was left was the placement of the all mighty Tree topper. She had managed to make it to the top of the ladder without killing herself, when she heard the clearing of a throat from behind.

"Never thought I'd see you in the Christmas spirit, let alone using a ladder."

Emma's body went rigid, her breaths coming in shallow waves as she prayed to whichever God that would listen to let her just pass out. Without falling over.

"What are you doing here?" she winces, pissed at her voice for sounding gravely.

"Visiting."

"Visiting?" _**face palm.**_

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Emma, are you ready to go?"

If anyone asked her, she'd say that they were insane, but she's sure that the singing Angels and Heaven's sun-rays beaming down on her are manifestations of the blinding relief that she feels for Mary Margaret's ever so lovely timing and surprisingly authoritative tone. Clambering down from the ladder, Emma takes her time to school her features into the most uninterested façade ever created. She won't let her emotions control her, not again. But when she turns around to face Regina for the first time in 4 months, every vow she's ever made to herself becomes absolute bullshit.

She was beautiful, more beautiful than Emma remembered. She never thought it possible; being that Emma had committed every dimple, every worry line, every scar to memory. Her hair was shorter as it fell along her shoulders, and her outfit hugged every curve, definitely reminding Emma of just how much she loved Regina's body. _Especially when she wore jeans._ There was a casualness about her that struck Emma as odd, but flattering nonetheless. And there was the problem. She hadn't forgotten anything about Regina, but she'd missed out on her growth. She meant what she said that day when Regina broke up with her; at the time it sounded needy, and a little bitter, but now it just served to show that Emma was right. She survived off the memory of her. Whether that meant she wanted Regina to regret her choice or if she really just wanted her back played over and over in her head, off and on, until she stopped searching for a reason.

"Hello Regina."

"Mary Margaret." Regina says, nodding curtly.

"Oooookay, well Emma I'll just go."

"**NO**. I'm done." the sentiment's double entendre hitting its mark.

"Emma."

But she never replies, grabbing her beanie and leather jacket, completely tripping over the boxes in her haste to get away from heartbreak.

* * *

"Shit M&M. Thanks for saving my ass."

"You need to handle that Emma. Soon."

The wind is heavy and Emma's jittery, wishing more than anything that she could just disappear.

"I will, just not now."

Vince told me that she was at the bar asking about you.

"Really? He didn't say anything to me." Emma mumbles, refusing to speak any louder because she's afraid that her voice will betray her.

"Of course he did. You and Vince are bros"

"What the fuck is that about!" Emma asks, thankful for a subject change. She doesn't want to process Regina's presence because thinking about it would be too much, and all she really wants at the moment is a burger and a couple of beers.

"He said, and I quote," 'Emma is my bro. And bros have codes. And she likes burgers and beers.'"

"Why are you dating him again?" Emma huffs. Her brain hurts, and she doesn't have the energy to follow through with the conversation.

"How about why am I friends with you? Look Em, if you want, you can just go home. She's going to be here for a while longer today; she's having lunch with Kathryn."

_**Of course. **_Emma smiles, remembering how inseparable the two of them were in High School. Regina didn't really like anyone there, only tolerating M&M and Ruby because they were Emma's closest friends. Kathryn however, was the only person that Regina made an effort to be friends with, and it warmed her heart that she was still willing to keep in touch.

They took a seat on a weather worn bench at the edge of the playground, watching the kids as they took turns on the swing.

"What did she want to know?"

"If you still lived here, with Ruby."

"Mmmm." Suddenly the world seems so small to Emma. Mary Margaret's heartbeat is just a little too loud and the incessant squealing of children is beginning to drive her insane.

There's a moment of silence as she remembers how Regina didn't originally like the idea of her moving in with Ruby due to jealousy and a history that she rarely discussed. But she knows now that she can't avoid her anymore; no more running. So with a final rub to her neck, she stands.

"I have to talk to her." The outburst startle Mary Margaret, but she nods instantly.

"Yeah, I think that's best. Look, there's your chance." And like clockwork, Emma sees Regina storming out of the school, face focused into a scowl.

"Damn, the fates have really been on my ass lately. Here goes nothing!" She says uncertainly, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket, breaking into a semi-jog.

**Regina wait!**

* * *

_Reviews would be greatly appreciated! This is actually a lot of fun!_


	4. Chapter 4

**4 months ago**

_"How's everything up there?"_

_"Fine." Her voice trembles and she immediately regrets it; losing control was not part of the plan._

_"Just fine?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Emma." The way Regina breathes her name makes Emma want to sob and kiss her senseless at the same damn time._

_"What do you want me to say Regina? I miss you. And everyone looks at me like I'm some charity case and they keep asking me how you're doing and if I'm gonna come up there with you, and I feel like a fucking bum because everyone is doing things with their lives and I'm," she pauses, tossing soda bottles and wads of paper into the trash can, "still wallowing around. I don't even have a job. Ruby should just kick me out on my ass already."_

_Regina snorts, finding Emma's affinity for dramatics highly entertaining, if not insanely adorable._

_"She's not going to do that dear."_

_"But she should."_

_"Emma."_

_"What?"_

_"I love you."_

_Emma sighs, twirling the cord around her finger. "You can't say things like that. We're not together anymore."_

_"So I can't love you?"_

_Emma's face drops. She presses a rough palm against her eyelids, black dots blurring her vision. She can hear Ruby's off-key singing in the other room, and it's the only thing keeping her anchored to reality. "No. No you can't."_

_"Emma."_

_She wants to change her name. She's had enough of hearing it whispered with such sadness._

_"I love you too."_

_The tension between them is palpable, and Emma knows just as well as Regina does that these calls won't last. Eventually Regina will meet someone else, and "I love you" will be strictly platonic and nothing more. They just aren't ready to admit that yet._

* * *

Emma liked to believe that she was graceful, no matter how many times she stumbled over her own two feet. Sometimes she just got a little nervy, or in this case horrified, and her legs would get a little crazy. _"Maybe my clumsiness can buy me some time if I fall on my face hard enough."_ She thinks absentmindedly.

"Regina. Hey."

Emma reaches her hand out just to jerk it back, realizing that touching Regina would result in direct decapitation. There's something calming, yet awfully risky about yelling at a person's back. Their face is hidden and for a moment, things don't seem so bad. Until said person turns around and incinerates you on the spot.

"Am I worthy of your time now Miss Swan?"

She flinches, damning the moment Regina ever started using her surname as a tactic of detachment. "It's not like that."

"Hmmm. Then what can I do for you?" She shrugs, tilting her head to the side.

"I want to talk."

"So it is like that."

"Dammit Regina." Emma whines, 2 seconds from breaking into a full tantrum.

"There she is." A smirk makes its way across her lips, and those eyebrows that Emma finds ridiculously sexy are nearly touching her hairline, implying a personal victory. She baited her, and Emma fell for it; hook line and sinker.

* * *

**3 Months ago. **

_"Guess what Regina? I got a job." Emma falls unceremoniously onto the couch with remote in hand, ready to reward herself with hours of trash TV. "At Vince's. I don't know shit about bar tending as far as like... tending bars go…**ooooh Springer**…but I do know my liquor."_

_"That's nice dear."_

_"Your enthusiasm is killing me, please calm down. I beg you." Emma deadpans, before cramming her face with Cheetos._

_"I'm sorry Em. That's really, really great. So proud of you. I'm just buried in school work."_

_"Oh. I get it." Emma says dejectedly, worrying her bottom lip._

_"Don't be like that."_

_"Okay. Well, I normally will work nights, which is good because I can talk to you before-"_

_"Emma dear, I'm sorry but can I-"_

_"Regina, I can't do this. I don't know how this is supposed to work. Every time I call you're busier than the time before and I get it, I really do. You're making something out of yourself, and I'm here dragging you down.". She has cheese crumbs all over her mouth, its irony adding to her frustration. "You always say you'll call me back, but you never do. Until I call again. Just for you to hang up after 5 minutes. Again."_

_"Emma." She doesn't say her name the way that she used to. It's not with adoration or amusement. It's with annoyance; it's a groan, and at this point Emma doesn't blame her._

_"My fault. She stammers. I'll stop being so clingy. We broke up, I should move on. Yeah. Um. I have paperwork to fill out anyways". There's a copious amount of blood rushing in her ears, and she suddenly feels nauseous. "Heaps of it. Just. Yeah. _

_And the line goes dead._

* * *

"You never answered. You disappeared. I needed you and you fucking ditched."

"Regina I.."

"**No**. You don't get to talk. You.," Her voice hitches, "just no."

The wind picks up and Emma is sure that Regina is shaking but she won't mention it, and she damn sure won't give her the jacket she's wearing. She doesn't want to provoke her; a patronized Regina means a dead Emma.

"I came back here because this is home, and, you're here." She takes a breath and runs a hand across her forehead, attempting to keep the tears at bay. Emma's still sure that she's never seen anyone more beautiful, even when broken.

"I'm sorry Regina. Please, just let me..." She walks forward and Regina throws her hand out, palm facing Emma's chest, but Emma just grabs it cautiously and brings it between her own, rubbing them together to generate heat. "I'm so sorry. I was a fucking idiot." _**Ridiculously sexy eyebrow**_. "I know. But you don't get to stand here and make me the bad guy." Regina tries to pull away, but Emma doesn't let her, tightening her grip and speaking softly. "I am so in love with you. Everyone in this fucking town knows that. But from the first moment we met, I was prepared to lose you." Regina's eyes flash with something akin to offense, and Emma realizes her mistake instantly.

"Baby, wait-"

"Don't. Don't you **dare** patronize me."

_**And here's dead Emma.**_

There's an uneasiness between them that Emma recognizes, and it comforts her because they've been in this position so many times before. After realizing that she is in fact, still conscious, she tries again.

"Okay. You took that the wrong way. You're not even breathing right now you're so pissed at me." Emma reaches for her other hand and let's their fingers mingle, aiming to relax her. "Listen to me. You are the most intelligent person I know. You had dreams Regina; you have dreams. I didn't dream until I met you. And I know that's cheesy and you want to scoff and I also know that you would rather cut off your own arm than do that right now because you're so damn stubborn.. Stop fidgeting.. And you know that it would make me laugh. I didn't want to hold you back. If I went to college with you, you'd feel obligated to take care of me and I can't let you do that. I won't."

"You let Ruby take care of you." she gripes with a roll of her eyes.

"Stop deflecting. Ruby takes care of me as a friend. You're my- were my girlfriend. And you'd have dropped everything for me. And do you think I want to deal with that guilt. To know that you put your life on hold because I was too lazy to make an effort in school? Hell no. So I let you go. I let you believe that breaking up was best, that friendship would be easier. But that was the hardest shit I've ever experienced. And I know that you didn't want me to talk. But I have to tell you why I didn't answer the phone after that night. I have to tell you that you are my world.. Go ahead scoff.." And she does; Emma's heart skipping another cheesy beat. "I'm a jerk. I could have handled everything differently. But I didn't. And I have to deal with that. I didn't want to weigh you down, but I did anyway because I worried you and I broke your heart and I'm so sorry Regina. I am so sorry. You just need to know that."

They stare at each other for what seems like an eternity until Regina catches chill again, Emma shrugging off her jacket and wordlessly hands it over, heart soaring when she resolves to put it around her shoulders.

"I needed you; everything was going to hell and I was suffocating under the weight of all the expectations that were being shoved my way. You were the only one who just wanted to hear my voice. You wanted me to vent to you, and I appreciated that Emma. But I told you it wouldn't be easy. I could have handled you being mad at me for a day. But then it turned into 3 days, then three months and I couldn't take it. You were pouting. You pouted without me." She mumbles, finding Emma's fingers intertwined with hers to be an amiable distraction. Emma grins for a moment but let's it fade, understanding that she shouldn't have handled things so impulsively. "You were throwing a pity party for yourself."

"You're right, I..." Regina shakes her head briskly, ending the refutation.

"I let you interrupt me once, don't do it again." Emma nods, shrinking back slightly but never slackening her grip on Regina's hand.

"So I came down here, to start Christmas break early. At first I didn't want to see you and I was happy that we'd broken up because that would be one less thing I'd have to worry about." Emma wishes that she would be struck by lightning, or a car, or even a squirrel; anything to end her humiliation. "But then I remembered that I'd changed; the old me would have pretended that you never existed. This town is so small, it'd be impossible for me not to see you. So I was ready to avoid you. But then you walked into the diner, and it reminded me of the day you asked me out on a date. Remember? You walked right up to my table, told me that I was the most beautiful woman in the world, and then proceeded to knock over a glass of water on yourself." _**Charming Girls for Idiots: Emma Swan**_ "Today when I saw you go to the back with Ruby I was jealous, so when you walked out and ignored me, quite naturally it hurt. I wasn't ready for that. Then you did it again, in the school just now. You broke every promise." she says quietly.

Emma keeps her attention on Regina's face, silently begging to be let in. She knows that Regina really won't let her speak this time, so she tugs lightly at her hands, hoping that she isn't too angry to disregard her efforts. But apparently she is, because she doesn't move. Then Regina sighs, and everything is so quiet and the road is so empty that Emma is almost sure that she can hear her eyelashes fluttering against her glasses. She can also feel Regina's pulse quickening underneath her fingertips, and finds herself wanting to kiss her.

"But I still love you."

So she does kiss her.

And Regina doesn't kiss her back.

She puts an arm around a slim waist and pulls her closer, stroking her cheek with a free hand, attempting to swallow her whole; but Regina still won't budge.  
"Kiss me back. Please. I need you to kiss me back. I'm sorry that I broke promises. I'm sorry that I'm stupid. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I'll have to leave after break Emma."

"Okay." Regina's breath falls against her lips, and she's positive that its the warmest thing she's felt all day.

"I don't want to do this with you then have the same things happen."

"Okay."

"Emma, stop saying okay." Regina chided.

Timing was a concept that Emma Swan never understood. When she was a kid, she'd learned the idiom: Go hard or go home, and since then, she'd found it to be suitable encouragement.

"I've been poking around."

Regina's face scrunched into an endearing mask of confusion and surprise; eyes wide, mouth agape. Emma thought that she was picture perfect.

"Poking around?"

"Pok-"

"Emma, don't repeat what I just said. Explain."

"Yes your majesty."

Regina smirks, causing Emma to temporarily lose her guts.

"So," she looks everywhere but at Regina, focus finally landing on a nice tree with a squirrel who she hopes is plotting her demise. "That city of yours has a community college right?"

"It's Boston, Emma. Of course it does."

"And…They're still taking applications. Right?" The slight inflection in her voice doesn't go unnoticed.

"I guess?" Emma's certain that her heart is going to leap out of her chest, just before she exhausts the vile acids in her stomach onto the pavement.

"What if I told you that I applied," Emma pauses, waiting for the expected sharp intake of breath, "and that they accepted me?"

And then Regina slaps her straight across the face.

"**OW**!" Emma groans, the entire right side of her face going unpleasantly numb. "What the fuck Gina?!"

"Emma Swan. You moron!"

_So much for that._

"You don't talk to me for three months. Three. Fucking. months. And even before that, you **NEVER **mentioned being interested in going to school. You always had some smart ass remark every time I brought it up in conversation. But now you want to go? What the hell?" She raises her hand to possibly slap her again, but Emma seizes it and pulls Regina in, kissing the daylight out of her. When her last rebuttal turns into a content sigh, Emma is sure that this is where she belongs. Wherever Regina is. She even scoffs at her damn self; but it's true.

"When I started working at Vince's, I realized that I kind of liked entertaining the idea that I could maybe have my own place," She shrugs, "And. At first it was just random daydreaming when I should have been wiping down the bar, but then, I really started getting interested in the technical side of the business and so I thought, why not? I started searching about 2 months ago, saved my pennies, all the important stuff. Ruby even helped me look into financial aid options. I just didn't want to tell you and get your hopes up, just for everything to fall through. I figured that if I went to school near you and kept steady, that we could try again." Emma's eyes are trained on the tips of her boots by the end of her explanation, instinctively preparing herself for rejection. She felt a thumb and forefinger on her chin, gently lifting her face until she was staring into deep brown eyes that never failed to hypnotize her. Emma never enjoyed making eye contact. It wasn't a secret. She felt like people could see the broken orphan that she tried so desperately to hide beneath layers of bravado. But Regina always saw everything, every time, and staring into her eyes didn't make Emma want to flee. Instead, she wanted to be seen; she wanted to be analyzed.

"You want to try again?" She asks quietly, wincing as her gaze rests on the razing welt that marks the side of Emma's face.

"Yeah. I mean if you want. You don't have to. I mean I know you wouldn't do something that you don't want to do. It wouldn't change anything. As far as the school thing goes. Like, I'd still go to school there. But we don't have to, you know... Be something."

"Always so eloquent Swan." Regina hums seductively, shifting closer so that her pelvis rests sweetly against Emma's.

_Jesus._

No, it's Regina remember?

And Emma laughs. A true, honest to God laugh that makes Regina blush.

"I want to try again too." The innocence in Regina's voice is back, making Emma hold her that much closer, reveling in the feeling of the warmth emanating from their bodies. "I want to try again, **now**." She's more confident the second time; her back is straighter, and there's a glint of authority in her eyes. "I want to spend winter break with you, and I want to help you register for classes. You're also going to live with me in Manhattan.

"Regina..."

"Shut up. Please." She says, looking up at her through thick lashes. "You're going to live with me. I'm not going to take care of you. You can pay half of my apartment rent because it's a bit much for one person to handle, if that makes you feel more like an adult. You should also get a job, because those pennies won't last forever."

"Yes ma'am."

"Okay?"

If it had been anyone else, Emma would have given them a piece of her mind. Hell if this was 4 months ago, Regina would have been subjected to the same treatment. But it wasn't. Now she was preparing to change her life, alongside the woman who inspired her to have ambitions in the first place.

"Okay." Her reply is resolute and it even surprises Regina. "Now, can we get burgers? I'm starving." Emma grabs Regina by the hand, hauling her down the street.

"We'll come back for your car and Kathryn later. We're gonna do this the old fashion way; I want to walk around, hold your hand, and show everyone how excruciatingly beautiful you are.

"Idiot."

"You love me." She sing-songs, practically skipping in delight.

Regina stops then, the force sending Emma spinning right back into her. "I do. I love you so much."

And finally she kisses Emma who all but faints, opting to clutch onto Regina's hips for dear life. She catches a glimpse of Emma's closed eyes and parted lips while pulling away, promptly fixing her face into another self-satisfied grin.

"You alright there, Em?"

"Yeah, never better!" Emma squeaks as she turns swiftly on her heels, resuming their walk.

_Now I really need that beer. _

* * *

**Okay, that's all! Thank you so much to everyone who read the story and stuck with me. I really do appreciate it! Until next time! **


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